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When Holly met Colin three years ago , she believed they were ideal together . They had the same black humor and also enjoyed the very same films and television . They both wanted a family in the next 5 years .
https://allurehim.com/infatuation-scripts-review/
They even had the same favorite childhood story - The Velveteen Rabbit - a sweet coincidence he often pointed out when family and friends asked about their relationship .
So when he all of a sudden left Holly one wet October day, she was totally blindsided.
"I can't understand what changed ," she told us "He once told me that he'd made a list when he was a teenager of everything he wanted in a future wife , and that I was everything he ever dreamed of . Not only that, just a few weeks ago he was talking about vocal classes so he could serenade me at our wedding."
Unfortunately , Holly's story is far from unique . According to dating and relationship expert Clayton Max, it's not unusual at all for a male to leave a woman that appears a perfect match for him .
"What many women don't realize ," Max said "is it's not about how 'perfect' she is for a guy 'theoretically '. She can check all the boxes on his list, but when it comes to moving the relationship forward, he still may freak out . "
That's because, regardless of taking pride in how logical they are , Max says , "Males do not choose a partner based on who's the best rational choice for them. Instead , they choose the individual who makes them FEEL certain things."
What 'things' do men need to feel?
Max says that guys are instinctively much more frightened of commitment than women , however their minds come pre-wired with a mechanism that overrides this fear with the appropriate woman .
Max describes this mechanism as The Infatuation Response , and when it's working , it essentially shuts down the part of his brain that feels uncertain . Suddenly his feelings of doubt vanish , he feels a sense of certainty about the woman , and he's willing to move mountains to be with her.
When choosing between a partner that makes sense and one that 's triggered his primal infatuation reaction , he will always choose the one who 's sparked his infatuation impulse one hundred percent of the time .
So what are Max's recommendations for someone that wants a guy to commit deeply to her?
1. Accept the Facts
A huge error that women make, is wishing men were different than they are. But a man can no more control these emotions of panic than a woman can control her thoughts .
In reality , when he feels misunderstood for not being sure , it only builds on the anxiety and guilt he has inside , making him more likely to hit the 'eject' button sooner rather than later .
By acknowledging that this is just the way males are wired, and not pressing him, it provides room to concentrate on what YOU CAN DO to make him sure - activating his infatuation impulse .
2. Don't try to "convince " him
Most women fall into the trap of trying to be a man's 'dream woman ' , by displaying all the 'sweetheart ' qualities , such as being a good listener, being loyal, attentive, generous, and seductive .
They'll list out all the reasons they're a good match , or they'll simply try to figure out what qualities he desires in a partner , so they can display them when he's around.
Regardless , they're trying to appeal to his 'logical brain ', which in this situation is not in charge .
Women will do this repeatedly , despite the fact that this approach virtually never succeeds , leaving them disappointed , and upset when the guy ends up going with a woman that has virtually none of the qualities he claims he wants .
3. Concentrate on triggering his infatuation instinct
The only way of getting him to commit with his entire heart, so he's absolutely sure a woman is the one for him, is to activate his infatuation impulse .
A guy 's infatuation instinct is turned on by very specific qualities in a woman . Traits like curiosity , boundaries, and also uncertainty , which create a sense of exhilaration and an urge to follow her .
Although many women will try to show a man just how devoted they are to him in the hope that this will make him feel safe to open his heart, this usually contributes EVEN MORE to the pressure he feels on his shoulders , because at this moment , he's more afraid of losing his freedom and sense of self than losing her.
To find out more about how to activate his infatuation impulse , with exact scripts that do exactly that, watch this free video presentation.
In it, you'll find out about the 'emotional tripwire', which places a man in infatuation mode, without him realizing why.
Watch it now while it's still available
Why Guys Reject Their Ideal Girl
When Holly met Colin 3 years ago , she thought they were perfectly suited for each other . They shared the same sense of humor and loved the same cinema and television shows . Plus they both wanted kids in the next 5 years .
Even their favorite childhood book was the same - The Velveteen Rabbit - a sweet coincidence that Colin often pointed out when friends asked about how they met .
So when he unexpectedly ended the relationship one wet October day, she felt totally blindsided.
"I can't comprehend what changed how he felt ," she explained "He once told me that he'd written down a list when he was younger of the important things he wanted in the mother of his children , and that I'd checked off every last one . Not only that, just last month he was talking about vocal lessons so he could serenade me at our wedding."
Sadly , this story is far from unique . According to dating and relationship expert Clayton Max, it's not unusual at all for a man to suddenly retreat from a partner , even if they seem perfect together .
"Something that many women don't understand ," Max said "is it doesn't matter how well suited a woman is for him 'theoretically '. She could check every box on his list, but when it comes to moving the relationship forward, he still might panic . "
That's because, regardless of taking pride in being logicaland sensible , Max claims , "Men do not choose a woman based on who is the most logical option for them. Instead , they choose the person that makes them FEEL certain things."
What things?
Max says that men are instinctively more scared of commitment than women , however their minds actually are pre-wired with a mechanism that overrides this worry with the ideal woman .
Max calls this The Infatuation Instinct , and when it's activated , it essentially closes down the part of his mind that feels worried . Suddenly his thoughts of doubt are relaxed , he feels a sense of confidence about the woman , and he's prepared to move mountains to be with her.
When deciding between a woman that makes rational sense to him and one who 's triggered his primal infatuation instinct , guys will see their future with the one who 's sparked his infatuation impulse every time .
So what are Max's recommendations for a woman who wants a man to commit more deeply to her?
1. Take things the way the are
A big mistake that women make, is wishing guys were different than they are. But he can no more control these feelings of panic he feels around commitment than a woman can control her feelings of wanting to commit .
As a matter of fact , when he really feels misunderstood for not being sure , it further contributes to the stress and anxiety and shame he has inside , making him more likely to run away instead of trying to figure things out .
When you acknowledge that this is the way men arebuilt , and resist the urge to pressure him, it provides you room to focus on what YOU CAN DO to make him sure - activating his infatuation impulse .
2. Don't focus on trying to convince him
The majority of women get stuck in trying to be his 'dream girl ' , by showering him with all the 'good girlfriend ' qualities , like being an excellent listener, being loyal, attentive, generous, and seductive .
They'll list out all the reasons they're a good suit , or they'll simply try to figure out what qualities he desires in a partner , so they can display them when he's around.
In either case , they're trying to appeal to his 'rational brain ', which in this instance is not running the show .
Women do this over and over , despite the fact that this approach practically never ever succeeds , leaving them disappointed , and angry when the man ends up leaving her for someone that has practically none of the qualities he claims he wants .
3. Concentrate on activating his infatuation impulse
The only surefire way of getting a guy to commit with his whole heart, so he's completely confident a woman is the one for him, is to trigger his infatuation instinct .
A man 's infatuation impulse is activated by a few very specific characteristics in a woman . Traits like intrigue , boundaries, and uncertainty , which stir a feeling of excitement and an intense desire to follow her .
While the majority of women try to show her man just how dedicated they are to him hoping that this will make him feel safe to open his heart, this usually just builds on the stress he feels , because at this moment , he's even more terrified of losing his freedom and personality than losing her.
For more information about how to activate a man's infatuation instinct , including exact scripts that do precisely that, watch this free video presentation.
In it, you'll learn about the 'emotional tripwire', which places a guy in infatuation mode, without him realizing why.
Watch it now while it's still available: