Does A Course in Miracles Teach That I Need a Holy Relationship in Order to Awaken? from Hander cholpan's blog
I do want to ask you about what A Course in Miracles means by Holy Relationship. In a single area of the book it discusses "entering the ark" together, and it almost sounds like you need one other specific person to be able to awaken. Therefore, I believe I approach each new person with the expectation that maybe THIS could be the partnership that reflects enlightenment if you ask me, and I to them! Am I taking this too literally? Or do you actually need to have another to help you awaken?
I appreciate your own time so much and thank you for your help if you ask me and others. I thank you and I thank God for you. Namaste.
David Hoffmeister: Thanks for your openness and your willingness to check deeply at what's underneath these topics and issues acim. A Course in Miracles teaches that the split mind contains both the issue (the ego) and the Solution (the Holy Spirit). When they're brought together, only One remains.
The human body and the planet are always the focus of ego's perspective, for it seeks to produce real problems and struggles on the planet and to steer clear of the inner Healing Correction of the Holy Spirit. The ego's distorted world is the product of identity confusion, an outpicturing of the belief it is possible to produce an identity which God did not create. The ego is this identity problem and it absolutely was Answered or forgiven by the Holy Spirit the instant it appeared to arise. This one problem could be described being an authority problem or perhaps a confusion in who is the author of Reality. The mind that believes in the fact of the time-space cosmos has a get a handle on issue, for it believes so it can create itself. This ego mind also thinks it's in competition with God, although this is pushed out of conscious awareness. This unconscious ego thought system is exposed in the A Course in Miracles Workbook lessons, and Lesson 13 contains a great example of this unveiling:
"A meaningless world engenders fear because I believe I'm in competition with God."
That is the beginning of training your brain to forgive, for the focus is brought back to your brain, back to thinking, and recinded from the human body and the world. Anorexia, weight issues, body image issues, and interpersonal relationship issues are samples of projection, of seeing the issue where it's not: in the world. The mind cannot tolerate the belief in a war with God, so this belief is pushed out of awareness. The deep-seated control issue such a belief entails is then projected to the human body and the world. Weight control, like any attempt to control the script or the human body, is an attempt to control the past. The Holy Spirit teaches that yesteryear can only just be forgiven or released or seen as false—not fixed or controlled or changed.
Exactly the same ego dynamic is underneath interpersonal relationship struggles of power and control, of wanting to correct or change a person or perhaps a self-image. Personal relationships might appear to sail happily along for awhile, yet the make-believe self-concept IS the non-public perspective and thus is always on shaky ground. Decisions are continuous. The Holy Spirit is really a decision. The ego is really a decision. Atonement is your choice that ends all decisions, an acceptance of the changelessness of Mind. The ego is your choice to think that your brain could be separate from God. Once your brain believed so it had separated and built this time-space world, this time-space world of bodies became its substitute identity, since it believed it had thrown away the Kingdom of Heaven. The world was made up as an alternative identity. The sleeping mind is split on your choice of identity. The Holy Spirit says, "This world is not Identity. This world can be an illusion." And thus the Holy Spirit reminds your brain constantly, "This world is not your Home. This world is not your Identity. This world is not real." As the mind is split it's hearing another voice (the ego) that's saying: "You've done it. You've separated from God. You'd better make the very best of it and find something of the planet to spot with. You can never return back for God will punish you."
Thought-form associations seem to become a substitute identity. The ego mind appears to be identified with the human body, with family, with environments that seem to surround it (i.e., I'm an American, Japanese, I'm male, I'm female, I'm from a wealthy family, from an unhealthy family, I'm Catholic, Jewish, Protestant, etc.) Most of these are thought-form associations. And these seeming other persons and places surrounding the little personal self are all part of this construction. The mind is quite shaky relating to this small identity, this small self, this little me. So the little me is shaky, and it appears as though other persons give the little me reality and importance (i.e., you're my son, my daughter, you're my boss, you're a loving father, etc.) and all the different issues that these images appear to be telling this little me appear to be really important. Praise thus seems very important (i.e., you are a person and you're a good one!).
Praise and acceptance from others SEEM to stabilize this very shaky thing (i.e., you're a good lover, you're a good provider, you're great with the children, you've a fine intellect, you've such a heart, you help serve so many others, you're a good team-player, on and on). This aspect of the self-concept says that you will be a person and you've many of these positive attributes that really make you an invaluable and worthy person, which make you stick out above the crowd. You're not merely anyone—you're somebody special. The flip side is criticism, which directly reflects the shaky sense of self. Criticism would be: you're not as great as you believe you are, you're not such a good team player, such a good provider, so good in bed—everything which can be taken as insults to the non-public self-concept). That's the flip side of the strokes. To the ego self-concept that believes both parties (the positive and negative) of thinking are real, the Holy Spirit is perceived as a good threat, for the Holy Spirit leads to the knowledge of forgiveness or the realization that none of the tiny images perceived as separate have any reality.
Once the criticism seems ahead, the ego attempts a substitution. It thinks, "I don't need this. I'll go elsewhere and start other relationships with people who can appreciate my talents and skills and abilities, appreciate my personhood. I will avoid those negative influences on the planet and those negative people. I'll find another individual or join a group where individuals are like-minded and forget about the remaining world. These new people will like me and stroke me and praise me." The attempt at substitution is an attempt to keep a sense of specialness, a sense of separation, a sense of individuality (a private mind with private thoughts). Those attempts are special love relationships. They seem to strengthen worth and value and to validate personhood. And they provide a false witness for clinging to the ego as identity. To the ego, past associations serve to offer personhood some sense of stability and consistency and value. Yet, the Holy Spirit demonstrates past associations offer nothing of value, for these were created by the ego to deny the reality of God's Love.
Holy relationship emphasizes and reflects Content (right-minded thinking) and comes with an awareness of the meaninglessness of form. As the ego's believed relationships will appear to be specific, yet every one will present an opportunity to release the belief in specifics. Divine Mind is Abstract and Universal. Forgiveness is the bridge to the remembrance of Christ and God, Divine Abstraction. Thus the Holy Spirit teaches in A Course in Miracles:
"Whenever you meet anyone, remember it is really a holy encounter. As you see him you will dsicover yourself. As you treat him you'll treat yourself. As you think of him you'll think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you may find yourself or lose yourself. Whenever two Sons of God meet, they're given another chance at salvation. Do not leave anyone without giving salvation to him and receiving it yourself. For I'm always there with you, in remembrance of you.
The Wall